Planet Vodka
A space-age laboratory of glassware, copper coils and cocktail equipment

Section 9 · Applied liquids

The Laboratory

Every drink here was developed under controlled conditions by people with clearance they arguably should not have.

Experiment 0074

The Planet Martini

Objective
Determine whether one is enough.
Result
Inconclusive.
Recommend
Repeat experiment.

Method

  • 75 ml Planet Vodka, kept in the freezer
  • 10 ml dry vermouth
  • Stir over hard ice for exactly 30 seconds
  • Strain into a chilled coupe
  • Lemon twist, or an olive if the mission is long

Experiment 011

Moscow Mule

Objective
Establish cooperation with the mule.
Result
Mule remains uncooperative.
Recommend
Add more lime. Try again Thursday.

Method

  • 50 ml Planet Vodka
  • 15 ml fresh lime juice
  • Top with 100 ml ginger beer
  • Build over cubed ice in a copper mug
  • Lime wedge, mint if available

Experiment 0219

The Espresso Directive

Objective
Keep one agent awake through an entire briefing.
Result
Agent awake. Briefing now fully classified.
Recommend
Approved for night operations.

Method

  • 50 ml Planet Vodka
  • 30 ml fresh espresso, hot
  • 10 ml coffee liqueur
  • 5 ml sugar syrup
  • Shake hard, double strain, three coffee beans

Experiment 0402

Latitude 49

Objective
Produce something drinkable from what the field station had.
Result
Surprisingly excellent.
Recommend
Do not tell the Director it was an accident.

Method

  • 50 ml Planet Vodka
  • 20 ml wild blueberry syrup
  • 20 ml lemon juice
  • Shake, strain over crushed ice
  • Sprig of thyme, single blueberry

Experiment 0555

The Grapefruit Protocol

Objective
Locate a long drink no agent can ruin.
Result
Located.
Recommend
Issue to all stations.

Method

  • 50 ml Planet Vodka
  • 100 ml fresh pink grapefruit juice
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • Build in a highball over ice
  • Grapefruit wedge

Experiment 0666

Cold War

Objective
Determine whether a martini can be made colder.
Result
Yes. Considerably.
Recommend
Laboratory freezer now off limits to Accounting.

Method

  • 60 ml Planet Vodka, frozen to −18°C
  • 5 ml chilled dry vermouth
  • No ice, no stirring, pour straight
  • Serve in a frozen glass
  • Frozen olive on a steel pick

Note from the archive

The official recipe remains classified

Four people know it. Two are dead, one has defected, and the fourth works Tuesdays. Everything above is the approximation we were able to reconstruct, and it is very good.

For your eyes only. Unless you're making two.